Put Me Out of My Misery!

Final Destination 2009 (2009)

Starring: No one Directed by: Eli Hoste Rating: R Genre: Horror Other

Review Punky creep Ethan Hawkes ("Finally, Paris!") cheats The Grim Reaper in a game of 3-D checkers thereby dooming everyone he's ever known to a horrible death on a broken escalator. Huh? Hawkes, who must be sixty judging by his haggard smoker's skin and obvious hair "plugs," should have given this teen slasher role a pass. Instead he tries to play it like Marlin Brando ("Brando's Fat!") in a wife-beater, mouth-breathing inane lines like "My sister stabs harder than that" as though "Mississippi" Tennessee Williams was stroking his sand-blasted cheek. Ugh.  Mr. Hoste , if you must kill fifty teenagers in 83 minutes, how about at least skinning them for our enjoyment? Give this one a pass....