(Don't) Try To Remember

September Song (2009)

Starring: Lady Ann Winokur Directed by: R.J. Cutlery Rating: PG-13 Genre: Sad Romance Other

Friday Night Special - Friday Night Special is a special feature of Oswald's Screen Scene. Here we present reviews of movies that we feel may be of particular interest to those special lovers looking for that magical mood-setter of a date flick that just might ignite the passions bubbling under the surface during the last work day of the week. Is this "The One"? Or just "One of Those Things?" Let us be your guide! Review Remember Lady MacBeth?  When we last saw Shakespeare's ("Hamlet") Mistress of Mayhem she was washing her hands obsessively in a sink full of Scottish awful. I couldn't help but be reminded of the sad decline of this fancy lady as I watched R.J. Cutlery's wistful "September Song," a fantasy about a lady so awful in life that God made her dead while she was still alive. She skulks like a shriven femme-homunculus through the world, tragically convinced that she rules an empire of Sansabelt slacks. I must admit I am not familiar with Lady Ann Winokur's previous work, but so convincing is she as "Handmaiden to the Devil's Teat" that I tried to find out what she really looks like under the latex by looking her up on IAMDB. No luck (Wuz up wit dat, IAMDB? Running out of flying-monkey interns?!). Winokur's gnarled hand-claws alone were so terrifying that I had to sleep with a nightlight (at one point, convinced in a semi-stupor that she was slithering her way up my nightshirt I managed to kick my signif-other's geriatric feline across the room and into our undie hamper). I commend Cutlery for taking on such a taboo subject, but I must say it's not for everyone. As a Friday night date movie, I think it might miss the mark, and datesters could find themselves on the couch or the drunk tank. Instead, I recommend re-renting "The Music Man" and relive tough guy Robert Pressman feeling up loverly Shirley McClain under the Yum-Yum tree to the sound of 101 Trombones!