Complexification Redux

It Is Complicated (2009)

Starring: Merrill Streep, Alex Baldwin, Steve Martin Directed by: Nancy Myers Rating: PG-13 Genre: Comedy/Drama Other

Review Former Clinton spokesperson and eighties basketball phenom Nancy Myers returns with another in her series of delightful dramedies about the difficulties that wealthy white women have in finding and hanging onto good Mexican help and sex partners able to keep up with their hectic schedules.  MacArthur "genius" winner Merrill Streep plays Jane Waldo, a wealthy and famous person who often cooks her own meals. After a hilarious run-in with a recalcitrant Brondell heated toilet, Jane is given the "411" by a sassy yet well-educated African-American nurse - her friends were right all along. All of her problems were caused by her jerky ex-husband. Alex Baldwin (the smart one) plays that jerk - Rip Masterson, a wealthy real estate developer with one eye for the ladies, another eye for the market, and (surprisingly) a third eye devoted to mastering the art of shiatsu, or Japanese deep massage (Masterson/mastering is just one of the clever allusions and puzzles Myers litters throughout the articulate and thoughtful script). The only turd in the ointment is Steve Martin's mute architect semi-love interest, "Steve." While Mr. Martin is better known for his theatrical "act" (in which he plays - of all things -  a banjo and tries to suck up to the college kids with references to Tutankamen and smoking) he might have been better advised to actually study both the art of acting and an actual vocally disabled person before sauntering his way onto the set, castanets a-blazing. To the best of my knowledge mute people can read lips, Mr. Martin! Sorry to disappoint you, but I guess MOMSMA (the Museum of Modern Steve Martin Art) will have to get an Oscar on loan again this year (try giving a professionally trained actor, like your friend Mr. Robin Williams, a call. I understand he has one!). Better yet, get started on Bowfinger 2. You were onto something there! One question that turns up repeatedly when discussing this movie is, "who is it aimed at?" Ms. Meyers, you are right to take this as the sling-ed arrow it's clearly meant to be. The truth is the demographic is everyone - from Nelson Mandela to Tiny Tim (the Dickens character, not the deceased ukulele-playing cherub who was reincarnated as art director Tim Burton). Shine on, you crazy diamond. We'll all be lucky to catch just a bit of your reflected glow!

From The Vault - No Fool Like a Young British Fool

Pride and Prejudiced (2005)

Starring: Keira Winslet, Dame Joan Sutherland, Directed by: Mighty Joe Young Rating: RATING Genre: GENRE Other

From The Vault - From The Vault is a special feature of Oswald's Screen Scene. Here we present reviews of movies past that we feel might interest, provoke or dismay our readers. Review The British they are different than you and me. Take for instance this prickly bit of pear dug up from the boneyard orchard of 18th century writing which seeks to compare the horrors of being ignored at a fancy dance ball to slavery. Not sure what particular brand of "tea" young director Mighty Joe Young ("King Kong In Love") might have been sipping when he "greenlighted" this thing, but I suggest he take a look at Mr. Stephen Spielberg's "Amadeustad" for a history lesson. Stick that in your british crumpet and smoke it!

Friday Night Special - Night Of a Thousand Cuts

In The Cut (2003)

Starring: Megan Ryan, Marco Ruffantaglio, Keith Bacon Directed by: LaCatherine Breilliant Rating: R Genre: Romance Other

Friday Night Special - Friday Night Special is a special feature of Oswald's Screen Scene. Here we present reviews of movies that we feel may be of particular interest to those special lovers looking for that magical mood-setter of a date flick that just might ignite the passions bubbling under the surface during the last work day of the week. Is this "The One"? Or just "One of Those Things?" Let us be your guide! Review The strange and sexy world of "cutters" (people who cut themselves in order to remind themselves that they have blood) is explored by French director LaCatherine Breilliant ("The Waterlogged Piano", "J'aime Les Murs Salles", "Mon Père a etais Le Dernier Salle Roi de Maroc", "Les Spankings") in this nod to the lush Technicolor "womens" films of Douglas Sirk and Aldo Rey. Megan Ryan plays a writer recovering from an attack of bees incurred after following a bear into the woods who meets enticing Marco Ruffantaglio after he tears his t-shirt while repairing her dumbwaiter. Initially wildly attracted ("your mustache is like the parted hair of a well-groomed yeti"), she begins to suspect that he may have been involved in the ritual killings of a group of itinerant milkmaids. The story, based on a play by German plagiarist Frank Wedekind, is mostly an excuse for Breilliant to crank up the heat between the two stars. And it's true that we haven't seen such varied canoodling since Marlon Brando made "Irish" love to himself in the Jodorowsky-like epic "Missouri Jacks". But Ryan and Ruffantaglio make it work, sweating and struggling like a pair of weasels trying to dig their way out of a bed full of party coats. At four hours an twenty-two minutes, it could well seem a bit self-indulgent, but don't let that scare you off. Breilliant may be a touch "L'amour tojours" but this is one duck whose seductive quack is no decoy.

From The Vault -There Will Always Be an English Patient

The Anguished Patient (1996)

Starring: Race Fine, Kristen-Scott Thomas, Julie Delpy-ish Directed by: Sir Anthony Mengele Rating: R Genre: Drama Other

From The Vault - From The Vault is a special feature of Oswald's Screen Scene. Here we present reviews of movies past that we feel might interest, provoke or dismay our readers. Review Like a steel-cage match between Santa Claus, a gorilla, a ninja, a shark, Jesus, Hitler, a pirate and a bear this film is a huge, chaotic and ultimately glorious piece d'theatre. Race Fine ("The Alcoholic Reader", "Marlowe's Magic Beans") stars as an ancient mummy brought back to life when gorgeous and thoughtful Kristen-Scott Thomas rubs her naked body against his bandages. But can love overcome three centuries of dry skin? You owe it to yourself to discover "The Anguished Patient."

Through the Smooching Glass

The Mirror Has Two Phases (1996)

Starring: Barabra Streisand, Dennis Quaid Directed by: Lauren Bacall Rating: PG-13 Genre: Romance Other: Frank Sensuality

Friday Night Special - Friday Night Special is a special feature of Oswald's Screen Scene. Here we present reviews of movies that we feel may be of particular interest to those special lovers looking for that magical mood-setter of a date flick that just might ignite the passions bubbling under the surface during the last work day of the week. Is this "The One"? Or just "One of Those Things?" Let us be your guide! Review When twilight time is nigh and the kiddies have drifted off to slumberland, that's the time I like to call "Barabra Time" because rarely has La Dama De Las Camelias let me down. And "The Mirror Has Two Phases" delivers like bacon-breath at a hoedown. First-time director Lauren Bacall ("To Have or Not To Have") wisely just gets out of the camera's way and lets the chemicals spurt forth in all their spouty grandeur. Lucky Dennis Quaid ("Oh Brother!", "Capricorn and Hotpants") must have gone through a Costco-sized case of lip balm to get through this shoot as he proves time and time again to Barabra's "Rose" Morgan, a prissy schoolmarm with a marmot for a heart and legs like Abe Lincoln ("just tall enough for my pants to stay on"). By the time Quaid figures out that "Rose" isn't a man, it's too late. He's already in love! Featuring Oscar-winning song "Sleeping With My Mirror 'Cause It Looks Like Me", the flick is guaranteed to to have both of you waking up inside a single nightshirt. I guarantee it!