Searing Portrait of the South

In The Heat of the Night (1967)

Starring: Harry Belafonte, Alan Hale, Jr. Directed by: Norman Jewison Rating: PG Genre: Drama Other

Review Searing drama in which a Philadelphia cop (played with burning rage by singer Harry Belafonte) teaches a fat southern sheriff (Gilligan's Island's Alan Hale, Jr.) how to kick some racist butt. Director Jewison strikes right at the heart of the race problem in the south - Southerners! Belafonte carries a big stick into battle, while Hale grudgingly learns to respect the way he dresses. Remade as the searing "Philadelphia" some years later, only focusing on sexual orientation discrimination in the north.

Wholesome Christmas Treat

A Christmas Carol (1999)

Starring: Patrick Swayze, Hugh Grant Directed by: David Hugh Jones Rating: NR Genre: Drama Other

Review Hip-swingin' Patrick Swayze (under a mountain of cadaverous makeup) plays it "straight" for once as old Ebenezer Scrooge in this delightful remake of the Albert Finney classic. Nothing fancy here, just emaciated, big-eyed kiddies tearing at your heart-strings. Loveable tease Hugh Grant plays "Bob" Cratchit (hence the term "cratchity") as a dim-witted lug brought to tears by his son's whining. A thoroughly entertaining musical extravaganza in the best Hollywood tradition. NOTE: Did anybody else catch a glimpse of Tiny Tim? I couldn't find him anywhere, though I'm convinced that a ukelele-strumming chimneysweep would have been a delightful addition.

Waterfront is Water-logged

On The Waterfront (1939)

Starring: Marlon Brando, Karl Malden Directed by: Elia Kazan Rating: UR Genre: Classics Other

Review Marlon Brando is uneven as a former boxer with a speech impediment in this overlong soap opera set in "New York." Karl Malden is a police detective with a broken nose. Director Kazam seemed confused by the material, which may have worked in more experienced hands - where was Vicente Minelli? Extras include commentary which seems almost wholly comprised of excuses for poor performances, etc.

Grisly Football Thriller

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939)

	Starring: Charles Louton, Sir Cedric Hardwicke Directed by: William Dieterle Rating: UR Genre: Drama Other
Review Dark thriller about a psychotic footballer (Charles Louton - McHale's Navy) obsessed with a beautiful prostitute. Seriously injured, Louton staggers around scaring children and spewing profanities while the townspeople gape. How'd this one get past the censor?

This One Needs to Evolve

Planet of the Apes (1968)

	Starring: Charlton Heston, Roddy mcDowall Directed by: Franklin J. Schaffner Rating: UR Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy Other
Review

Weird misfire that tries to equate modern American two-party political system with a rivalry between talking gorillas (republicans) and orangutans (democrats). Charles Heston acts as a sort of Ross Perot character, mediating between the two, but only succeeds in blowing up the planet. Roddy McDowall is touching as the chimp with a heart of gold and, strangely, Kim Hunter is somehow sexier as a gorilla than she was in A Streetcar Named Desire. Plods along for two hours before Heston finally breaks down and cries like a little girl when he realizes that even in space you can't escape New York City.

Too Much Water!

Damn the Defiant (1962)

	Starring: Alex Guinness, Anthony Hopekins Directed by: Lewis Gilbert Rating: UR Genre: Drama Other
Review While Anthony Hopekins is excellent as usual and Alex Guiness (Obi-wan Kenobi of Star Wars fame) is also recognizeable, My mind wandered during the endless scenes of ocean waves. I also found the cursing in the title somewhat gratuitous.

Hunter Becomes the Hunted

Night of the Hunter (1955)

	Starring: Tab Hunter, Shelley Winters Directed by: Charles Louton Rating: UR Genre: Classics Other
Review Bad boy Tab Hunter (whatever happened to him?) is a killer-turned-priest in this terror classic that pits a slimmed-down Shelly Winters (TV's Hazel) against the mob. Director Louton hams it up as usual, but Hunter's priceless, terrifying one-liners ("You and what army..?!") and shameless dislike for children sent a chill up this reviewer's spine. Hunter was never this good again. Enjoy!

Stand Down, Mr. Murphy!

Dr. Dolittle 2 (2001)

Starring: Eddie Murphy, Cedric the Entertainer Directed by: Frank Marshall Rating: PG Genre: Comedy Other

Review I don't get it. The animals talk? Admittedly the amount of specialized animal lip-synch wrangling is truly impressive, but that doesn't excuse the fact that they have nothing particularly profound to say. A movie in which animals talk could have been fascinating. For instance, what is a cat really thinking about when he's staring out the window? Instead, this movie seems to imply that animals only think about sex and drugs. Duh. I'd like to see Eddie Murphy do something where he played a guy from the renaissance, though.

Ape for Congo!

Congo (1995)
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Starring: Dylan Walsh, Shirley Jones Directed by: Frank Marshal Rating: PG-13 Genre: Action & Adventure Other

Review What if you went to Africa and found a world in which the very laws of nature have gone berserk? That's the intriguing premise of this action masterpiece based on Eric Segal's bestselling novel. Director Marshal finds a way to get at the tough nut that Planet of the Apes was unable crack - namely that apes should never ever act as metaphors for human beings. They're apes! Beautiful Shirley Jones seems ageless as a scientist who risks it all for the man she loves. DVD extras are equally spectacular - including documentary on computer-generated ape hair -- if only!

The Lioness Roars Tonight!

The Lion in Winter (1968)
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	Starring: Peter O'Toole, Katharine Hepburn Directed by: Anthony Harvey Rating: PG Genre: Classics Other
Review Katherine Hepburn has never been sexier than she is in this movie! If you've been waiting for her "breakout" role, this is it! The music is wonderful, particularly Peter O'Toole's moving rendition of "If Ever I Should Leave You." Great flick, but put the kiddies to bed early!!!

Who Says War Is Hell?

Patton (1970)
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	Starring: George Segal, Karl Malden Directed by: Franklin J. Schaffner Rating: PG Genre: Action & Adventure Other
Review George Segal IS Patton in this movie. If Patton had been allowed to do his thing we might have won the war even better than we did. Includes shocking scene where Patton shoots at an airplane with his pistol. Check out DVD interviews with cast members and other "extras".

Gwyneth, Where Is Thy Sting?

Shakespeare In Love (1998)
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Starring: Gwyneth Paltrow, Joseph Fiennes Directed by: John Madden Rating: NR Genre: Romance Other

Review While interesting from a historical perspective, I didn't feel that it should have been shot in color. It seems like a movie that takes place in the England of the 1600s would be more realistic in black and white. Also, I don't believe it's historically accurate that people "french"-kissed in that era, perhaps because their teeth were so bad that they would also have very bad breath. Also, you never see anybody going to the bathroom in these films. What's up with that? Otherwise, like I say, an interesting film with generally attractive people involved in amusing situations.

Brothers Deliver A Heavy Load

The Matrix (1999)
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Starring: Keenu Reeves, Laurence Fishman Directed by: Joel Coen Rating: R Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy Other

Review Keenu Reeves stars as an alien who discovers that he is God in this stunning sequel to Ridley Scott's Blade Runner. Lawrence Fishman (bald!) is the unfortunate doctor who must break the news to Reaves. With no way out, Reeves decides the only way to save the world is to face his alien parents and flush them down what looks like a giant lavatory. But don't let that description put you off. I learned more about the Bible from this movie than ten years of Sunday school. Stunning commentary track with a surprisingly insightful Reeves and director Coen discussing if God is a software programmer.

Hitch In Top Form

Rear Window (1954)
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Starring: James Stewart, Grace Kelly Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock Rating: PG Genre: Classics Other

Review Hitchcock changes pace with this delightful comedy of manners in which Jimmy Stewart stars as a "vertically-challenged" quadraplegic whose fiancee (scrumptuous Grace Kelley) discovers a plot to kill bad guy Alan Hale (McHale's Navy) by cutting his body into pieces and sending them off to San Francisco by bus. Forget the grisly plot - Stewart is a comic revelation here, mumbling and grumbling his way through hot oil massages and Kelley's seductions before toppling out of the eponymous window (great stunt work reputedly done by the actor himself!) Nice to see Hitchcock stop brooding and enjoy himself with this top-notch dismemberment comedy. DVD extras include commentary by the gaffer and catering staff.

This Pic Gets a Failing Grade

The Graduate (1967)
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	Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Anne Bancroft Directed by: Mike Nichols Rating: R Genre: Comedy Other
Review Smutty nonsense about a high school graduate who can't "find" himself. Much better done in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." The screenwriter thinks lines like "Plastics" are fall-down hilarious. Give this one a pass.

Cruis-in!

Memento (2000)
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Starring: Tom Cruise, Carrie-Anne Moss Directed by: Christopher Nolen Rating: R Genre: Drama Other

Review Tom Cruise tears the screen to shreds in this quixotic sci-fi thriller about a man bonked on the head who discovers that he's moving backwards in time. And what does he find? He's killed (spoiler) HIMSELF!! Director Nolen knows how to handle a camera but it's Cruise who is the revelation as a man so confused he has to take pictures to remember who he is. Crazy stuff from an actor unafraid to make a fool of himself. We should all be so talented!

Creepy Look at a Fascinating World

Taking Lives(2004)
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Starring: Angelina Jolie, Ethan Hawke Directed by: D.J. Caruso Rating: Unrated Genre: Thriller Other

Review Taking lives, indeed! The strange and exciting world of serial killing is explored in this thriller by the team that made all of the other serial killing movies. Angie Jolie is both the hunter and the hunted as she tracks a series of madmen who like to make capes out of human skin. Morgan Freeman is her irascible lieutenant who (spoiler warning) we find is both her lover and her father! But it turns out okay because he's killed quickly afterwards. Look for a quick cameo by "Austin Powers" star Mark Mayers during the credit sequence.

Murry Alternately Hilarious and Moving

Scrooged (1988)
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	Starring: Bill Murry, Karen Allen Directed by: John Landis Rating: PG-13 Genre: Comedy Other
Review Bill Murry nails it in this high-spirited(!) and ultimately moving portrayal of that seminal Grouch - Scrooge. Murry and director John Landis discover the humanity behind the grotesque mask that is Murray's war-torn landscape of a face. An instant classic for the whole family to enjoy while slugging down the grog around the fiery yule.

Welcome to Oswald's Screen Scene!

Hello and welcome to Oswald's Screen Scene - a site devoted to giving you the real scoop on old, new and (hopefully) unreleased movies. I'm not affiliated with any studio or any "PR" organization so you're getting the straight dope with no "spin." I hope you'll bookmark this site and let your friends know that the site is here to bring you the actual deal without the Hollywood "hype" machine running them over! Enjoy!