Christmas Mystery Revealed

Every Body Is Fine (2009)

Starring: Robert Dedeniro, Sam Rockpile, Drawn Buttermore, Katherine La Beckensdale Directed by: Kirk Hammett Rating: PG-13 Genre: Romantic Comedy Other

Review If men are from Mars, then Robert Dedeniro is from Super-Mars. Dedeniro and an exciting cast that includes fine "indie" actors Sam Rockpile ("Pass: The Alan White Story"), Drawn Buttermore ("Thin and Thinner") and Katherine la Beckensdale ("X-Badger", "The Nose Job") jab, jab, jab for two hours and fifty-five minutes before delivering the climactic uppercut about an hour after the last jab. Dedeniro is "Frank" an older gentleman who seems to have taken to sipping from Robert Burton's dark cup of melancholy. After killing and dismembering his wife, he decides, rather than shipping her to each of his four children scattered across the country,  he will deliver them in person. To his surprise, he finds that each of his offspring has troubles of his/her own. Through their shared misery, Frank discovers the humanity that exists in even one's own children and slowly comes to understand his wife's seemingly bizarre Christmas request - the gift she gave was not unlike the wafers he'd unthinkingly been consuming each Sunday before football. Metallica guitarologist Kirk Hammet does a surprisingly deft job of delivering the script, based on an incident related by Dr. Phil, like a fine time-released laxative - before you know what's hit you, you're feeling better than you have in weeks.