Hesher, Saved From Drowning

Go For it, Hesher! (2011)

Starring: Joseph Gordon Levine, Rainmaker, Natalie Portman Directed by: Denny Terrio Rating: R Genre: Drama Other: Inspirational Dancing

Review In pre-war France the great Rene Clair made a series of films about a drunken clown who defiles middle class families, all with the name Boudu Sauve des Eaux. Forty years later a giant bearded genius named Zero Mostel destroyed the lives of his teenager daughters in David Lean's "Fiddler on the Roof." Now, fifty years on, out of nowhere, disco dance sensation Denny Terrio pulls a rabbit out of that same dirty, dirty hat with "Go For It, Hesher!" a quirky, quixotic romp through the sewers of the mind - with bells on! Terrio ("Stayin' Alive 2: Ontario Dreams!") elicits  electric performances from teen dream sensations David Gordon Levine and Natalie Portman as star-crossed lovers on a road paved with the diamonds of the stars trampled beneath their feet by dreams they can only imagine, and nightmares they can only dream do not occur to their imaginations. Levine ("Walking Tall 5: Pusser vs. Billy Jack", "Lightning Bug: The Adam Ant Story") is particularly fine as a pouty-lipped young circus roustabout with a skateboard, a penchant for Virginia Slims hidden in a pack of Djarum Blacks and a one way ticket to Palookaville. Portman, so good as tragic Norwegian skating sensation Sonje Heine ("Quisling On Ice"), takes it down a couple of notches here as Rita a girl who, on the cusp of her "Quincenera" - a latin ritual for girls in which the young initiate learns that only her brothers will be allowed to attend college, must choose between the Talmud and the dark red mesh open-toed dance shoe. What you think you've seen before turns before your eyes into a delicate mix of black blood sausage and jasmine incense - something unexpected yet fragrant, but not unplesantly so.  I won't give away the shock ending, but be sure to bring a friend with plenty of kleenex and a change of socks. Enjoy! p.s. Yes, that is Sting reciting the Kaddish during the shivah montage.

Dem Bones, Dem Bones, Dem LovelyBones

LovelyBones (2009)

Starring: Matt Damon, Rachel Winslet, Stanley Tucker, Ash Wednesday Directed by: Peter "Pedro" Jackson Rating: R Genre: Drama Other

Review Like a slighty creepy guy sporting a pencil-mustache and red velvet smoking jacket toying with a rich yet subtle Bordeaux, this critic detected notes of tamarind, tobacco and bacon in this fascinating study of the confluence of tragedy and hope. Somelier Jackson ("Mighty Orson Wellies", "The Laird of the Rings", "The Willies") uncorks a jeraboam of pain with real legs and a smooth finish that hints at wet dog rolled in dead sea lion. Based on an unpublished novel by "Little House on the Prairie" author Jim Thompson, the movie stars Little Samantha "Ash" Wednesday as "LovelyBones," a girl who fakes her own death by killing herself and then from the half-life spirit world leads her family to blame a local killer who confesses before he kills again in order to spare everyone another two hours of worry. Jackson, who has proved to be something of a chowderhead lately,  is really onto something here. He reminds me of a land crab wandering across eons of desert only to suddenly make a mad dash into a boiling sea. That hiss you hear is the sound of genius.

Scrambled Eggs Blooper

Where Are The Wild Things Are (2009)

Starring: Tom Hank, Katherine O'Keener Directed by: Spike Leez Rating: PG Genre: Children Other

Review Defenseless dead writer Doctor Seuss' crypt is defiled once again, this time by Nike director Spike Leez ("Happy Daze", "Being Hammad Karzai") who fails the master's litmus test in spectacular fashion. Actor-Most-Likely-To-Buy-Gum-From-The-Bottom-of-Jimmy-Stewart's-Shoe-On-Ebay Tom Hank ("Splashed", "They Were Interdependable") stars as a small child forced to confront a giant plate of talking scrambled eggs (Katherine O'Keener ["The Forty Year Old Midget", "Undies"]) who make fun of him until he cries. This apparently teaches him that it's okay to eat any food that makes you feel bad.  Whatever, Mr. Leez. I must confess that by the end I was moved to tears when a tree stump explains to Hank that it's okay to hate your parents as long as you don't kill them until they are really old. But in the era of Lord Ronald Howard's "Grench" that's not quite enough. A well-intentioned try, but questionably worthy of your hard-earned sawbucks.

Class Act

La Classe (The School Class) 2009

Starring: Vincent Bougereau Directed by: Le Flic Rating: R Genre: Foreign Other

Review Searing indictment of the French educational system in which teachers are left to the tender mercies of mad children wielding machetes (a kind of French blade used to make foie gras). When Bougereau ("Voltaire: Le Loup-Garou Philosophique", "Les Retards") tries to install a modicum of discipline, the leftist government decides he's a fascist and exiles him to Devil's Island. Fancy-pants "imagist" director Le Flic ("The Absence of the Dream Mechanism", "Le Petomane: Le Fartiste Contre Societe") then turns the film into an odd sort of action flick as Bougereau escapes on the back of a giant butterfly with the help of a pair of twins who together make up a single human body. In the end (Spoiler Alert!) he returns to the school armed with a machine gun which shoots pornography. The movie's final image is of a flock of naked civil servants engaged in courtly dance while the composer Lully (ably played by ubiquitous gelatinous man-mountain Gerarde de Depardeiux) pounds a stick on a map of Algeria. Le Flic is certainly an oddball and quite possibly a flim-flamiste of the first order but I think he's onto something here. The french for too long have focused their attention on their bellies to the detriment of their school books. Americans should take a lesson here. For that alone this film should be shown in every schoolhouse in the country, perhaps sponsored by some governmental organization that could reimburse the french with some sort of scrip. Check it out!

Happi? Whi Yys!

The Pursuit of Happyness(2006)

Starring: Will E. Smith Directed by: Gabriele Muccino Rating: PG-13 Genre: Drama Other

Review Forgive the impertinence, but who made Will E. Smith God, with the power of life and death over the mere mortals who are so obliging as to attend his films? Whomever the deity-maker is, I want to thank him once again because Singer/Dancer Will E. Smith is "THE BOMB." Dazzlingly innovative director Muccino (once the loveable "Huggy Bear" from TV's Baretta) finds the humanity lurking inside even the ugliest, most threatening bum. Look for a cameo by Smith compadre Kid-And-Play as a hilariously fey "chorizo" salesman. BTW (by the way), ten bonus points for figuring out the mystery behind the mispelling of the title. Hint: think different!